Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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