That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize