I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize