Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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