You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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