Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
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He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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