Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i think i just lost a toe
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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