I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize