he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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