He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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