Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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