Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize