I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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