Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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