Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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