If i come over, it means nothing
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
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I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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