i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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