I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And then my night got REAL pukey
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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