Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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