I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
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In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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