I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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