Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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