a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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