We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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