I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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