she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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