Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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