Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize