All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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