when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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