The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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