I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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