there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize