New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize