why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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