..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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