i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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