..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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