I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it's like heaven, but drunker
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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