if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize