wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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