Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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