Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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