i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize