so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i believe in u and ur pee
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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