no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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