Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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