i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize