Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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