Ambien. No doubt about it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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